11 Aug Making a Difference
Yesterday Don and I received the most amazing gesture. Dan and Lush Lawn & Property Service made a huge difference to us recovering from our Shelli loss thanks to the organising of Brendan, Dean, Linda & Annette.
I was not going to share the following letter I found on Shelli’s computer with anyone. It was enough to make me cry but I did tell my sister, Annette about it who immediately went to work to make Shelli’s wish come true. So with the help of cousins, Brendan, Dean and Linda and much chat behind closed doors Brendan and Dean along with their friend Dan’s gardening service, Lush Lawn & Property Service fulfilled Shelli’s wish yesterday. You cannot believe how wonderful it is to wake up knowing the garden has been brought back into order.
A huge thank you to everyone involved. Shelli would have been beaming today and posting it everywhere on Social Media so here goes. If you are in need of gardening check out Dan and the team at Lush Lawn & Property Service (0403 249 766) as they put their heart and soul into making Shelli’s wish come true. As Shelli would say “Kindness is free, sprinkle that shit everywhere…” and they did!
Shelli’s letter written after a bout of Pneumonia last February. It gives you a incredible insight into Shelli and her struggle but still thinking of others. I am not sure who she was writing to……. (PS I’m not that amazing but it’s nice to think I was appreciated).
My mum Betty Whitehurst is beyond amazing. There are no words to describe how, and what she has done and doing for me and all the people around her.
For the last 3 years all she has done is give up her life to care for me with incurable cancer, and what type you ask – it’s breast cancer – but it’s breast cancer with the lot. It’s everywhere and we are just keeping me alive day to day. When I say she has give up her life – I mean 100% to make sure I am ok 24/7, she wakes up 3 times a night to check on me and make sure I am still breathing and even just have a drink or need something to eat. A mum should never have a daughter at 41 with this type of terminal cancer and she has such a small but really needed request. The Garden. She just needs the back and front yards cleaned up and make it a bit nicer.
Unfortunately I had a very bad turn a few weeks ago, where we thought I might have longer, now we are not so sure. I am now been allow to leave the hospital and go home but I am attached to a wall with oxygen and my quality of life has plummeted. I can’t have a shower on my own, walking to the toilet I need help, let alone think about going out with her for a simple coffee is a no go, it’s amazing what you take for granted. So even the most tiny simple things we could do together have been taken away from us now. The Drs have now put me on my 9th line of Chemotherapy treatment and lets cross fingers this one works to give more time and some quality of life – but we have 15 weeks of hell in front of us before that relief comes. Because what wouldn’t you do to keep alive?
My story — At 39 years old, I, heard the words ‘you have cancer’ and not just any cancer – you are going to die in less than 12 months cancer it’s everywhere – I was diagnosed with Stage 4 very rare Inflammatory Bilateral Breast Cancer with wide spread metastasis to the brain and bones. This type of cancer is 100% incurable. This is not what you want your 39 year old daughter to be told she has and the shock was just overwhelming. Every one of her plans she cancelled and dropped and life changed in one minute. I was rushed straight into intensive care and put on new experimental treatments in radiotherapy for my cracked ribs, shoulder and brain tumours behind the eyes which were causing me to go blind which cost tens of thousands of dollars. As soon as I had recovered from that we started the first rounds of experimental chemotherapy which was again not on the PBS system in trial phase so we had to use the rest of the tens of thousands of dollars I had savings to buy my house for the treatments. A year later these treatments held me alive but the dam things grew and progressed so we needed new experimental drugs (I have now been through 8 lines of experimental drugs) and he cancer has progressed not only the breast, brain, bones but the liver and lungs, (a burger with the lot I call myself).
We call it spotfire treatment what is the worst that comes up we try and treat that and just keep going day by by.
But Mum just gave up her life, right there on the spot and then, and didn’t even bat an eyelid on the fact that I was moving home, she would look after me full time and be there for me 24.7. This is not what you should be doing in your retirement years when you had planned to travel the world, especially Paris and do all the things you left time for at the end of your life. It is now coming on 3 years which is amazing, but I can only imagine exhausting for her and she would never say a thing. There is not one moment that she has not been there holding my hand doing everything possible to make me well and keeping me alive no matter what. As the cancer frustratingly keeps progressing and gotting slowly worse especially now where we have taken a really bad turn which we did not expect where I am attached to a wall with oxygen so I can breathe, I can hardly move out of bed, my quality of life is diminishing quickly and we have to prepare that it coud go either away where this could be my time – I might have months to live, we are not sure so we are just spending the moments with family and the kids so we have as many nice memories as possible, I so desperately want to do something special for her that she has been talking about all the time and annoys her – which is just a clean up of the Backyard/Front garden and make things just look nice again, because with me as a full time job she has no time to do those things that she would love to do. Betty never asks for help or asks for anything. Even writing this I can’t stop crying because she is so special and she just doesn’t even know it – and her never ending bucket of kindness is incredible. Also she is going to KILL me for doing this because she is so private, but I don’t care – this is about her and how much we love her and she deserves to be looked after just once in her life.
Since being sick so much of our money has been spent on new drugs, treatments and doctors bills. My business has now gone to nothing with me not being able to work I have no income to be able to afford to hire someone to come in – and worse, I am as far from a green thumb as possible so i have no idea what even to ask for?
Betty is also an amazing survivor as well having been through Breast Cancer herself so she understands the pain I go through, which sometimes I think is worse and now dealing with her daughter who might have defied the one year diagnosis with a good team of doctors but we live day to day not knowing if I will be here and we are just cross our fingers every day I wake up the next day.
Can you help me? It’s not a huge job, but it would be one that woud be amazing to have done before I go.